the ballad of love and hate

Love writes a letter and sends it to hate.
My vacations ending. I'm coming home late.
The weather was fine and the ocean was great
and I can't wait to see you again.
Hate reads the letter and throws it away.
"No one here cares if you go or you stay.
I barely even noticed that you were away.
I'll see you or I won't, whatever."
Love sings a song as she sails through the sky.
The water looks bluer through her pretty eyes.
And everyone knows it whenever she flies,
and also when she comes down.
Hate keeps his head up and walks through the street.
Every stranger and drifter he greets.
And shakes hands with every loner he meets
with a serious look on his face.
Love arrives safely with suitcase in tow.
Carrying with her the good things we know.
A reason to live and a reason to grow.
To trust. To hope. To care.
Hate sits alone on the hood of his car.
Without much regard to the moon or the stars.
Lazily killing the last of a jar
of the strongest stuff you can drink.
Love takes a taxi, a young man drives.
As soon as he sees her, hope fills his eyes.
But tears follow after, at the end of the ride,
cause he might never see her again.
Hate gets home lucky to still be alive.
He screams o'er the sidewalk and into the drive.
The clock in the kitchen says 2:55,
And the clock in the kitchen is slow.
Love has been waiting, patient and kind.
Just wanting a phone call or some kind of sign,
That the one that she cares for, who's out of his mind,
Will make it back safe to her arms.
Hate stumbles forward and leans in the door.
Weary head hung, eyes to the floor.
He says "Love, I'm sorry",
and she says, "What for?
I'm yours and that's it, whatever.
I should not have been gone for so long.
I'm yours and that's it, forever."

You're mine and that's it, forever.

the girl with kaleidoscope eyes

i literally think my life is a song. this is not a joke. i think God is pulling my marionette strings just to give someone a glimmer of inspiration for a song. i don't know who is watching and writing because he or she is very sneaky, but he or she is getting a LOT of good material. my emotions are a rollercoaster (cliche much?) and i don't really have any solid ground when the ride is over. i feel numb most of the time, but other times i feel cut open and raw. things will go well for a week and then the strangest thing will happen: i will shut down and lose all of that good hope that i had saved up. i want more for my life than to shut down with no warning. i am a good person and i want good things for my life of course but you know i can't control the sticks thrown in my spokes; i can only remove them and keep riding. i do have hope though, so that's a good sign. i feel stronger than before. my eyes have been a constant green which is a good sign. they're usually brown when i'm stuck. so there is hope. just a note: i know you're afraid, but once you put yourself out there you can experience life in a new way...maybe even with me. and this is about you.

"one day you'll see her and you'll know what i mean
take her or leave her, she will still be the same
she'll not try to buy you with her time
but nothing's the same, as you will see when she's gone.
it's foreign on this side
and i'll not leave my home again
there's no place to hide
and i'm nothing but scared.
you dream of colors that have never been made
you imagine songs that have never been played
they will try to buy you and your mind
but only the curious have something to find
it's foreign on this side
and the truth is a bitter friend
but reasons few have i to go back again.
your first dawn blinded you, left you cursing the day
entrance is crucial and it's not without pain
there's no path to follow once you're here
you'll climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs
it's foreign on this side
but it feels like i'm home again
there's no place to hide
but i don't think i'm scared."

*i am the girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

The beginning

There have been too many things in life to not talk about a few. I think it's important to discover the world and all the things in it and to take special time to study your favorites. So this is where I might expand on my favorites. The time is now.

but wait until it's right in front of me because at the moment i feel like a deflated ball. i have a lot of things to sort out. then i will continue lifting myself up if i have the strength.

Something to think about while I look for it...what is the most important thing in my life? God I don't know. I hope it's God, but who can be so sure of these things? I am only human.