the girl with kaleidoscope eyes

i literally think my life is a song. this is not a joke. i think God is pulling my marionette strings just to give someone a glimmer of inspiration for a song. i don't know who is watching and writing because he or she is very sneaky, but he or she is getting a LOT of good material. my emotions are a rollercoaster (cliche much?) and i don't really have any solid ground when the ride is over. i feel numb most of the time, but other times i feel cut open and raw. things will go well for a week and then the strangest thing will happen: i will shut down and lose all of that good hope that i had saved up. i want more for my life than to shut down with no warning. i am a good person and i want good things for my life of course but you know i can't control the sticks thrown in my spokes; i can only remove them and keep riding. i do have hope though, so that's a good sign. i feel stronger than before. my eyes have been a constant green which is a good sign. they're usually brown when i'm stuck. so there is hope. just a note: i know you're afraid, but once you put yourself out there you can experience life in a new way...maybe even with me. and this is about you.

"one day you'll see her and you'll know what i mean
take her or leave her, she will still be the same
she'll not try to buy you with her time
but nothing's the same, as you will see when she's gone.
it's foreign on this side
and i'll not leave my home again
there's no place to hide
and i'm nothing but scared.
you dream of colors that have never been made
you imagine songs that have never been played
they will try to buy you and your mind
but only the curious have something to find
it's foreign on this side
and the truth is a bitter friend
but reasons few have i to go back again.
your first dawn blinded you, left you cursing the day
entrance is crucial and it's not without pain
there's no path to follow once you're here
you'll climb up the slide and then you'll slide down the stairs
it's foreign on this side
but it feels like i'm home again
there's no place to hide
but i don't think i'm scared."

*i am the girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

The beginning

There have been too many things in life to not talk about a few. I think it's important to discover the world and all the things in it and to take special time to study your favorites. So this is where I might expand on my favorites. The time is now.

but wait until it's right in front of me because at the moment i feel like a deflated ball. i have a lot of things to sort out. then i will continue lifting myself up if i have the strength.

Something to think about while I look for it...what is the most important thing in my life? God I don't know. I hope it's God, but who can be so sure of these things? I am only human.